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And so i play my guitar, I always play my guitar. Karamiau saigetsu wo tadoru tabiji de. Mabuta ni kanjiru yuuitsu no honoo. Natsu no nagori wo utsusu mina no ne. Hanatsu senritsu yo tooku tooku kanawanakutomo ~Loreley~

2010/10/31

[One Shot] Tik Tok

Title: Tik Tok (based on 2PM's song, same title)
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Hyoyeon
Rating: PG13 here
Length: 1/2
Genre: Song Fic

This fic has been in my compi from two months ago. Comes to me suddenly after I watch Eunhyuk's performed Love Song. So Hot!!

Nobody knows
How I want you like this everyday
Everytime I embrace you behind the stage
My heart burst


Their relationship isn’t inspired by how they are being the best dancers in the two groups or because the company says that SNSD was the girl version of Super Junior. Even less they also don’t reflect on what Donghae and Jessica did in the past before the two of them finally debuted. But their relationship starts just as the usual, love comes when a boy meets a girl. However, how they walk on it isn’t what the ordinary people called a relationship.

We greet each other awkwardly in front of people
But when we turn away, I’m the one who knows you best


Hyoyeon sits on the couch behind their make-up desk and is watching the TV above which is broadcasting Rain’s song ‘Love Song’ by Super Junior, 2AM, and 2PM. She’s really absorbed by the performance, she doesn’t notice everyone is busy for their upcoming performance right next after this one. She smiles genuinely when Eunhyuk’s part comes and agapes when he sings very good to it. But before it ends, she’s being dragged by Tiffany to prepare their performance, she sighs.

I can hear more loudly in my ear
What you say with that gaze, that’s right
Your desire for me, your thirst
We go crazy for each other like this


“Oppa, you’re so handsome!!”

She hears the other SNSD members yell when Shindong, Eunhyuk, Jokwon, Chansung and Nichkun come to the backstage. She spots him, so funny with his fake eyelashes but extremely hot with his black wife-beater covering his sculpted torso, highfive-ing with Sunny – who stands beside her – and then turns to her. He does that also to her before bowing comfortably but obliviously awkward. When they walk to a different way, they glance over and found each other’s eyes. In 3 seconds it meets but it actually says thousand things. They smile and just the two of them knows what the smiles mean.

That I love you secretly
That you’re really my girl
Drive me so crazy everyday
I just want you, you this way


It’s been midnight when Eunhyuk rings the bell to the red painted house and 1 minute later an old man opens it for him. The old man smiles even if it is visible that he’s just awakened from sleep. Eunhyuk gives him an apologetic smile but the old man brushes it off. The old man walks back to the kitchen after locks the door and leaves Eunhyuk under the stairs. He climbs it soon when he realizes that he’s in the dark living room alone.

Eunhyuk opens one door to his left that he’s known by the heart even if it’s dark all over the house. He finds that the light come only from the bedside table but it also switch on to off and on again and like that continously by a hand that creep from under the blanket. Eunhyuk chuckles to that before sits on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes and jacket.

“It will be perishable, you know, eventhough it’s expensive…” he says and hears a sigh from under the blanket as a response.
The girl pulls off the blanket from her upper body and stares at Eunhyuk’s back. He still wears that wife-beater he wore when performing Love Song. She looks at his elegance neck to his shoulder blades down to his toned arms. How lucky she is to have this handsome man that – she knows – loved by millions people, but that is not the important thing. What people see is just the outside of him, she… knows him from the deep inside of him. How he always treats her like a woman should be, he always been a best boyfriend she ever had. Nobody knows though.

Come here, tik tok tik tok tik tok
When I see you, tik tok tik tok tik tok
All day tik tok tik tok tik tok
My heart tik tok tik tok tik tok


He turns to Hyoyeon suddenly and catchs her staring at him so intensely, “what are you staring at ?”

Hyoyeon blushes to that so she pulls the blanket over his head again. She can hear Eunhyuk giggles and feels the bed dip beside her and the next thing she knew Eunhyuk’s eyes bores a hole to hers in such a close proximity. She can’t think properly if they are so close like this. There’s no sound inside or from outside the room, only the ticking of clock and their heartbeat the only thing they can hear. Eunhyuk leans forward, he intends to kiss those lips that he’s been longing for the whole day, but Hyoyeon cups his face and pushes him back. Eunhyuk feels confused while Hyoyeon just chuckles.

“Oppa you’re so funny!” she says as she taps his cheek.
He pouts, “what so funny?” Eunhyuk scolds.

“Just now, in Mubank… with your fake eyelashes. I can’t stop laughing just thinking about it!” Hyoyeon continues laughing her heart out
“You think that funny? It supposed to be cool and sexy, even for Donghee hyung, y’know!”

Hyoyeon suddenly shows some interest, “oh, right! Donghee oppa was really cool, his voice was similar to Rain, very handsome!”
“Yeah!” Eunhyuk agrees to what Hyoyeon’s says, but he thinks again about it, “hey… you think Donghee hyung handsome but not me, you’re really….”

Eunhyuk gives a scowl to Hyoyeon for the last time before heading towards her bathroom. Hyoyeon just giggles towards her boyfriend’s behavior.

Nobody knows
That you and I love like this everyday
There’s no room in my heart for anyone to come in beside you


Hyoyeon leans on her door frame and watches Eunhyuk washes his face, “oppa!” she calls, but Eunhyuk just continues to wash his face and then his arms.

She approaches him then lean on his shoulder, “hey! Don’t be angry with me!” when she doesn’t get the answer, she circles her arms over Eunhyuk’s body.

Eunhyuk sighs and pulls her into his arms, “sure…”

Hyoyeon smiles in relief when finally she can feel those arms again embracing her body, so warm she doesn’t want – ever – to trade it with something else. But suddenly she pouts, makes Eunhyuk frowning, “because it’s me who supossed to be angry with you!” she pushes him away from her warmth – eventhough it’s hard, but she’s always enjoying to tease Eunhyuk –.

“Why??”

“You haven’t congratulated me yet. We won K-Chart just now, where were you, oppa?”

“Eh? You were?” Eunhyuk looks as if in a deep thought. Actually, he has known it, but he just waits for the right time to congratulate her.

“Oppa!!” she yells, but Eunhyuk just laughs at her pout.
Eunhyuk pulls her again to his arms, tugs some strands of hair behind her left ear, “okay, so.. how am I supposed to congratulate you now?”

Hyoyeon just smiles the sweetest smile she has to Eunhyuk and then tangles her arms behind his neck. Eunhyuk stares at those lips that perform the smile he knows just for him, “just…” Hyoyeon starts and leans up closer to Eunhyuk’s face. She stops just inch away from touching his lips with her, waiting, and Eunhyuk doesn’t waste any time, he claims those lips for the first time since two weeks ago.


Tik, I knew from the beginning
Tik, there was something about you
Tik, in that gaze you stared at me with
Tok, for your exhilarating love
Tok, I’m always thirsty
Tok, I keep searching for you secretly


They start the make-out session as soon as Eunhyuk lift Hyoyeon to sit on the sink. The tortured two weeks without touching each other adds more passion to what they do right now. Of course they always keep their quality of love and don’t pay much attention to a thing called quantity, but that aching feeling they have for each other if they can’t even see the most precious person in their live for more than a week, who can bear it?

Everyday they keep searching for each other. Hyoyeon being far from the town because of SNSD’s vacation and Eunhyuk with his new album busy schedule. Hyoyeon always waiting for Eunhyuk phone calls or just message but it only happens once or twice a week, he’s really busy, she knows it. She’s not different either, when SNSD has to promote their album, the condition is always the same to their relationship. It has been more than a year since they realize that their feeling for each other not just as a friend or family, but there was something between them, it was love and it lasts, obviously for them. A year is a long journey for a couple to be in a relationship and for ordinary couple maybe they have done anything to enjoy that they’re in a relationship, but not them. They never go on a date to a place that every couple should visit, they rarely drive together, because in a fact people like them don’t deserve something called relationship, not when they are walking in the same dream.

Today is their time. Eunhyuk can’t hold it inside anymore, he needs his Hyo. She just came back 3 days ago and as she calls that she will be in her parents’ house on Thursday night and he has no schedule on Friday then that is it. Chance like this rarely comes to them. So, Eunhyuk doesn’t want to waste that chance, he lift Hyoyeon from the sink and carry her to her bed.

A/N Wait 'til next week(?)

2010/10/24

Mizerable

Andai ketika aku tak kuasa inginkan sendiriku, kau ada disini, diantara celah hati yang tak sengaja kubagi. Kalau yang semu itu masih menapakkan jejak di tempatku berdiri, rasa yang kunistakan tak pelak lagi kutentang. Tentang kau yang gila, kau yang tak peka dan kau yang tak punya cinta, aku tak sadar kalau yang semu itu cinta.
Aah... semua yang nyata tak bersisa! Hanya ada aku disini dengan semua kertas yang tampak berserak tak jelas di pelupuk mataku.

Sebelumnya. Ada dirimu. Satu makhluk yang diam-diam datang dalam sendiri. Ketika kau ada yang tumbuh itu adalah sebuah kebencian yang meradang di tiap dinding pembuluh aliran darahku. Ketika kenyataan yang ada kau tak pernah kekurangan cinta, virus-virus kebencian itu makin membengkak dan mengganas dalam jiwa dan pikiranku.
Kalau yang semu itu terbungkus lagi janji palsu, maka akulah yang selamanya ratu, dalam kebohongan yang masih saja kuterima untuk kubentuk jujur. Saat yang sepi diindah sendiri, melantun nyanyian sunyi yang perih, tapi cantik. Yang pergi itu telah kembali, tepat dihadapanku, di depan mataku. Akankah ku lagi-lagi terbelenggu ? apakah cinta yang itu semu ?

Sial.. mengapa harus ada satu kata benci mengiringi indahnya dirimu. Mengapa harus ada satu kata ragu menyelimuti pikirku. Mengapa harus ada satu kata diam mengiringi kidung surga yang kunyanyikan di belakang semua orang tentangmu.

Tapi kau tak pelak perlahan mendekati pilar-pilar kehidupanku yang tegak berdiri. Pilar-pilar yang kubangun untuk menghadang orang-orang sepertimu. Orang yang... gila! Kau itu sebenarnya orang yang seperti apa ? aku masih bertanya-tanya pria seperti apa yang kucintai ini. Mengapa diantara kecintaanku padamu, masih ada benci-benci merajai.

Tanya demi tanya yang terucap mulai membusuk di sela kejenuhan, bermain-main terus dengan dillema, menjadi terbiasa. Hingga tetap saja yang lemah itu adalah diriku, maka tak akan pernah ada kata satu dalam hidupku. Ternyata rasa itu bukan pura-pura lagi menyiksa.

Hatiku mencintainya, hatiku membencinya. Jiwaku menginginkannya, jiwaku ingin mengusirnya. Kata apa yang pantas untuk mendeskripsikan rasa ini. Rasa yang membingungkan, tapi jelas sudah terasa, cinta. Padahal semua ini hanya terpaut satu garis lurus, namun dengan bodohnya aku anggap ini sebagai lingkaran setan yang tak pernah putus. Dengan perjalanan yang cukup panjang dan melelahkan mencari rasa yang tepat. Hilir mudik, keluar masuk rasa-rasa yang absurd tapi begitu jelas ada, malah tak mampu menguatkan diri untuk berpaling dari kegilaan yang dia miliki.
Aku ini menyedihkan. Aku mencintaimu tapi kau berada di balik dinding sana, menertawakanku. Rasa itu muncul selalu di tiap malam dan mimpiku. Kau tak pernah menganggapku sebagai sesuatu yang berharga di matamu, tak akan pernah! Dan bermimpi tentang memilikimu pun ternyata begitu sulit. Rasa yang ragu ini tak akan pernah bisa menyentuh kehidupanmu.

Bisakah dengan sisa-sisa kertas ini, rindu itu menghilang seiring berhembusnya angin dingin. Karena rindu itu lebih dingin dan menusuk dibandingkan dengan angin itu sendiri. Cinta, bisakah kau hanya diam disana dan aku memandangmu, tanpa kau harus berbalik memandangku dengan tatapan jijik karena tahu bahwa aku merasakan hal yang tak sepantasnya kurasakan...
2008年10 月 17 日