Current Music: L’Arc~en~Ciel – Ibara No Namida
Words Count: 3,358
A/N This is the longest chapter…^^ by the way, sorry for the late update, I’ll make it up soon, and… it will probably be the last chapter after this one.
Eunhyuk and Sungmin walked to one of the boutique they always come to. They held hands all the way from his apartment to the boutique, let everyone know that they are lovers, but inside, could they be called lovers if the love they have not only for each other? They chatted like usual, laughed as usual, but it just a cover so what they really feel inside, the other couldn’t catch it.
They were at separated section to pick some clothes which they will wear for Ryeowook’s wedding. Oh, how Sungmin really didn’t want to attend that wedding party. She was so weak just think about it, but there was no way she couldn’t get the reason to not come. She had to face this, particularly because Kyuhyun had said that:
“Kyu!! It hurts!” Sungmin yelped from Kyuhyun sudden force to get Sungmin into his car. Kyuhyun just ignored Sungmin’s plea and get in to the driver seat.
“There’s nothing more hurt than my heart, Sungmin!” Kyuhyun said flatly, but it was obvious that he was really angry.
“Kyu… please, don’t be like this!”
Desperation and hurt, it’d all written on Kyuhyun’s face. Sungmin now could only cry and clutched to Kyuhyun’s arm that she felt so tense.
“Sungmin, you have to choose!” he said firmly.
Sungmin shook her head, “I’m not ready!”
Kyuhyun removed Sungmin hands from his arm with slight force, “if you not, then I’ll go…”
Sungmin shocked with Kyuhyun’s statement, the word of leaving her never came from his mouth all this time. It was the words Sungmin never wanted to hear.
“You know, Sungmin… being cheated by you is hurt, but it more hurt to not being with you, but the most painful thing is seeing you hurt…”
“Sungmin, if you choose me then you will attending Ryeowook’s party with me, if you don’t then you can go with Eunhyuk and I’ll leave. And I’m sure, I won’t go back to you anymore…”
“Min.. you’re okay?!” Eunhyuk asked her when he saw Sungmin just stood between two racks holding a blue-night dress.
“O-oh, yes… umm, you finish?!”
“Yeah, come on let’s pay, I have an appointment after this, so you go home by yourself, is it okay?”
Sungmin just nodded and smile at him. He smiled back and Sungmin thought she must have a live support so she could stand without Eunhyuk from now on.
Is it wrong to stay?
Eunhyuk hadn’t been through this. He hadn’t found the answer yet, but one thing he could certain of was Donghae probably hate him right now. Maybe it was because of that, he kept Sungmin by his side. Selfish, he knew it. Sungmin, he couldn’t leave her just because his bestfriend had come back.
He wondered what if Sungmin could feel what he was going through. What if she could feel that he didn’t love her anymore, well, he never really loved her that way anyway. But everything that they had been through all this time he could not let it go just like that, it contained happines more or less.
The thought of leaving Sungmin was always haunting on his mind, maybe with that he could easily fighting for his Donghae, but it wouldn’t be fair for Sungmin, not when the reason was loving another girl, but how about his feeling? He couldn’t let his heart hanging just like that, not knowing where to stay, it felt like dying.
It was a busy day at Kim’s residential, because tomorrow is a big day for the only daughter there. Maid scattered around the main house and Ryeowook’s private paviliun to prepare the food and dress not only for Ryeowook but for everyone engage in the wedding reception. As for Ryeowook herself, because she didn’t ought to do anything, she chatted with her long time friends in her own bedroom.
“so, how many times actually that Jongwoon of yours spill his drink on your dress..?” Hyoyeon asked as she still couldn’t stop her giggles from Ryeowook’s earlier story about her dorky boyfriend soon to be husband.
“I don’t know, but he used to spill his drink in every dinner we had in a month after he confessed to me.” and laughter fill the room again before there’s a knock on the door and one of Ryeowook’s maid come in.
“Your parents want to meet you Miss..”
“Alright, I’ll be there… gals, don’t forget to come tomorrow at nine, okay?!”
Discussion dismissed and the girls returned to their own acivity. Donghae walked back to her apartment because Jessica had something to do after that and couldn’t carry her home. A half and hour later, she arrived at her own apartment and as she just want to prepare for tomorrow, her doorbell ring. With a sigh, she opened the door and as surprised as the last visit, she almost jumped from her place.
The visitor just smile and didn’t obvious to Donghae’s shocked state, “K-Kibum…?”
“Kibum, what are you doing here?” she managed to say.
“Are you gonna let me in or not?” he looked annoyed with Donghae’s questions before.
Donghae opened his door wider so Kibum could enter her apartment. He calmly sat on Donghae’s couch. The meeting felt awkward for Donghae, she didn’t expect to see Kibum this fast especially after what he’s done to her and when she was on the state where she didn’t know what to choose.
“Preparing for tomorrow?” he asked when he spotted the blue dress on a single chair and shoes box above the table.
Why could he be so calm after what he did to her, Donghae couldn’t put away that thought from her mind. What’s wrong with Kibum’s personality once she knows him? Why did he so different now? A little Donghae knew that the changing in Kibum’s life was because of her.
Kibum stared at her when he didn’t get the answer. Donghae caught on it and immediately turned away before answering with a simple “yes.” She didn’t notice Kibum’s eyeing her like a wild animal ready to attack. His intention to come here wasn’t just a platitude, asking her condition or checking her apartment, but he come because a little bird tell him that Donghae love another person.
Donghae’s mobile rang when Kibum began to approach her. She ran to the kitchen to answer the call from her unnie, Heechul, “hello, unni?”
“Donghae…” Heechul sounded worried, “…are you in your apartment?” she asked with hesitation.
“Yes, what’s wrong unni?”
“Donghae, I’m sorry… but, I think Kibum will come to your house, and he looked so upset when I told him that he wouldn’t have a chance with you, I told him—I told him you.. love someone else. He’s not there, is he?”
Donghae sighed deeply. It really turned out to be so messed up, her life, everyone’s life. She started to blame it to the return of herself, “unnie, he’s here.. but don’t worry, I can handle this.” Heechul gasped when she heard it and began to curse herself for being so careless.
“I think you don’t know Kibum well right now, but.. Donghae, I’m so worried.. please, be careful…”
“Okay, unni… it’s not like Kibum is a murderer…” she heard footsteps came near the kitchen and it must be Kibum, “he’s coming unni, I’ll call you if something happens.”
“Hae—“ she cut the line, unaware that Heechul is about to say something to her.
“Hae…” Kibum called right behind her and she jumped in surprise when she turned around and Kibum was just a few inches in front of her, “don’t you have something to say?” he pushed her to the kitchen table and put his hands on either side of her body. Donghae felt like being trapped, but she promised Heechul to be able to handle this, but something in Kibum eyes intimidating her.
“What.. what do you mean Kibum?” Kibum hit the table behind her, the sound of it made Donghae startled and she felt her heart would come out anytime soon, she felt fear now towards this guy who used to be gentle once he was. This was what she anxious about since the first time they met again. She’s really afraid that Kibum would turn out like this, but like she said earlier, she’s sure that Kibum wasn’t a murderer.
“Don’t play ass with me… I know you want to reject me and don’t want to come back to me!!” he yelled as he grabbed Donghae’s shoulder roughly made her hissed in pain, “why don’t you just told me earlier!!”
Donghae tried to push him away with her strength and Kibum backed up a little, “Kibum, what are you doing?”. Now she grabbed her arms with so much force and Donghae scream because it was really hurt , “please Kibum..!”
“You’re mine, Hae!! Doesn’t everybody say that to you? Don’t you remember, we never broke up, you just went to God knows where without telling me!!”
His eyes, full of anger. Donghae couldn’t help it but frightened inside. This is not Kibum, she kept on chanting those words inside her head, hoping this guy wasn’t Kibum she used to know before. “Kibum, don’t do this.. I’m so—“
“DON’T SAY YOU’RE SORRY!!” he screamed in front of Donghae’s face. Her whole body was shaking now and kept praying that Kibum would end all of this. Donghae turned her head to the side and let her tears flowing down her cheek. Kibum forced her head to face him with his hand grabbed her jaw tightly and kissed her with the same force.
Donghae groaned inside her throat when Kibum’s teeth pulling at her lower lip and caused blood to flow. She had an opportunity to push him again when his hand move to her neck. Donghae pushed with all of her power until Kibum fall to the ground. She ran, aiming to the door so she could get out of her apartment, but Kibum was fast, he caught her body and pushed her against the wall. Without words, he started to kiss her again harder this time and ripped her shirt on the way to slip his tounge inside her warm cavern. Donghae could make it when Kibum opened her shirt all the way and ran to the telephone, but Kibum throw her telephone away and threw her to the couch. Donghae tried to get up but Kibum slapped her cheek. Donghae and Kibum stopped in their track, Kibum’s breathing heavily above her while Donghae stared deep into his eyes, searching for something that could explain the situation, but his eyes just full of anger and lust. For a moment, nobody tried to lash or to struggle against. The end up staring into each other eyes, just searching what they wanted to find, but there’s nothing.
Donghae tried to get up but Kibum held her down again, she thought it was over, “Kibum, please!”
“NO!! you’re mine!! I don’t care who he is that you love now, you’re always mine..!” and he started to attack her neck, trapped both her hands with his above her head while he opened his shirt. He ripped her bra also, leaving her topless and Donghae was disgusting to herself right now, he couldn’t do anything now. Tears flooded all over her face and Kibum didn’t seem to notice her plead and just continued attacking Donghae.
“I’ll make you mine all over again with my way!” he murmured between her breast and right there she spotted her high heels upon the coffee table beside them. If only her hands didn’t trapped… and suddenly, Kibum released her hands to opened his own shirt when his mouth kept ravaging her body. Donghae reached for the heels quickly then without hesitation she hit his head with the tip of her heels and he screamed in pain until he felt the world spinning and fell from the couch.
Donghae quickly ran to the door after swoop her abandoned shirt. She ran out from her apartment, glanced back every now and then, afraid that Kibum would chase after her again. Donghae just ran without particular destination but what her heart told her too, to someone he thought of during Kibum’s assault just now.
Eunhyuk was in the middle of pouring his second cup of coffee when someone banged on his door. He sighed, he hated this kind of guest that kept banging on his door when there’s a bell already. “Wait a second, aish!!”
He opened the door to a surprise, “Donghae?!” his surprise turned into a shocked and worried expression when he saw that Donghae’s long hair was messy, there’s also dry tears on her face and blood on her lower lip, the button on her shirt was lost so she used her hand to pull it to cover her body, “Hae, what’s—“
He didn’t continue his words when suddenly he felt Donghae hugged him with one hand and she cried into his chest. Eunhyuk embraced her tighter to make her sure that she’s safe now from whatever she had gone through earlier. He let Donghae like that, put all of her emotion and her pain outdside until there was just sob that heard. Eunhyuk gently carried Donghae to his couch and let her take a seat while he searched for his shirt and water for Donghae.
“Put this on!” Eunhyuk said when he gave the plaid shirt and Donghae turned around so Eunhyuk couldn’t see her. Eunhyuk also turned away from her so she could have some privacy when changing.
After Donghae done with the changing, he handed her a glass of water. Silence filled the room, no one dared to make a move or to be the first one to talk. Donghae then finally gulped down her water carelessly so some of the water trailing down her chin and damped Eunhyuk’s shirt. Eunhyuk saw that and sighed, he lowered the glass and grabbed a tissue to wipe Donghae’s chin. Donghae looked at his eyes and their gaze met. She didn’t know what comes to her mind so she started to sob again.
“Donghae, just tell me what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Eunhyuk turned to panic mode as Donghae’s tears flowed down her cheeks. Eunhyuk pulled her into his arms when she cried louder. He never saw Donghae this way because she never showed her weak side to everyone, she wasn’t weak after all. The problem must be very complicated and little Eunhyuk knows that maybe one of them was because of him.
Eunhyuk leaned back on his couch and brought Donghae along. He let Donghae cried on his chest again until only sob heard and then there was nothing, “you ready to talk now?” he asked as he caressed her hair lovingly. He still in love with this woman and she knows it after all.
Donghae just nodded weakly then said, “can I talk to you about this?”
“You know you can talk to me about everything…”
The two of them paused for a moment before Donghae broke the silence, “it’s Kibum.”
Eunhyuk frowned because he tried to digest the name in his head and then come to a conclusion, “your ex?” and Donghae nodded again. She got up from Eunhyuk’s embrace and looked at him as she spoke.
“He’s not really my ex… he’s right, I never broke up with him. What I never know is he said he still love me. He tried to rape me today.” She explained and it made Eunhyuk gasped in shock.
“Why would he rape you? He hurt you, didn’t he?” he asked in panic once again, pointing to her lower lip that torn slightly.
“No, I’m okay, I’m not injured, and he didn’t get to do me anything, don’t worry!” Donghae smiled at him and it made Eunhyuk’d sighed in relief, but he couldn’t deny that he felt anger towards that man named Kibum. How could he say that he still love Donghae but on the other side hurting her?
“I just… shock and dissapointed but on the other side I regret for not knowing how he really feels.” Donghae continued, “he hurts, but I really can’t do anything about it… I only can feel sorry for him, it was my fault after all that he become like this.”
Donghae buried her face on her palms and Eunhyuk reached to caress the top of her head, “Hae, I don’t think it was your fault… it’s him who make his life that way, a man should let go what has gone.”
She stared at Eunhyuk’s eyes once more, sure there was love in there. How she never found out all this time was really her stupidity and now she had to be faced with the truth that he had been suffered for ten years just because she only want him as a friend. It couldn’t be just friendship though, what she felt at the past and what she saw in herself plus what she realized now that Eunhyuk, her Hyukjae, is the only man for her.
“Hyuk, did you hurt also? Because it seems that everyone is hurt because of my decision.” She asked, still looked at his eyes.
Eunhyuk just smiled sincerely and shook his head, “you would never be able to hurt me, Hae!” he said as he traced lines on her face with his fingertips and ended up cupping her right cheek with his hand, “because if I hurted by you, I would end up thinking that I’m the one hurting you. Because if I hurt, who will bring you in and heal your wound when you hurt.” It’s the truth, how could he end up hating Donghae or did something cruel to her eventhough she had hurt him badly.
Eunhyuk leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He saw Donghae’s eyes brimming with tears when he pulled away, “thank you, Hyuk..!” and she hugged her bestfriend again.
“Why are you crying a lot today, Hae..?”
“I don’t know, it’s just… it’s like all the things I did was wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Shhh… everything’s gonna be fine, I promise!”
Donghae pulled away from Eunhyuk and glared at him, “why are you promising? This is my problem!”
“Hey… listen! I can promise you everything as long as you stay with me. I will try to fix you however ruined you are because I’m your best friend and… because I love you!” he said gently and carefully.
Donghae bit her lower lip to prevent herself from saying it out loud and stared at her hands nervously, “I love you too, Hyuk.” Couldn’t bear the thumping in her heart again as Eunhyuk said those words one more time to her, she said it unknowingly.
Donghae, audaciously looked up to see Eunhyuk’s confused face, “I said… I love you… as like love that you said to me the previous day.” She exhaled a long breath.
Eunhyuk froze in his place, not knowing to react or to say. It surprised him really, Donghae loves him just like he became a Prince of Persia that wouldn’t come true. But now here she was, telling him that she also loves him with the exact love he felt towards her.
“I’m sorry… I realize it just when you said it, but after I look back to the past I know that it was also love… and I think—“
Donghae didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence because Eunhyuk had just claimed her lips passionately. Donghae had nothing but to accept the kiss and forgot everything because it’s just Donghae and Eunhyuk that exist this time. How he always dreamt of this day to come, Donghae loved him back and he could kiss her without being afraid that he just kissed his best friend of 20 years. Friend didn’t kiss and also didn’t do what they would do next.
Stay with me until I fall asleep
Don’t let your gentle hand go
Because I just like a little kid that had became lost…