Title: The Next Cup Of Coffee
Pairing: Donghae/Eunhyuk, Tablo/Eunhyuk, slight!Eunhyuk/Hyoyeon
Word Count: 4,661
Summary: The first cup of coffee never be able to make the memories go away, so he drinks the next cup of coffee to keep him awake from those sleeps he never wanted to have, or at least the dream on it.
Second Cup: Don’t miss out on the cup of eternity
It’s too early for us to fall asleep.
Please stay up a little longer.
Please, don’t miss out on the cup of eternity.
You and me.
Me and my coffee
Hyukjae was a bright and cheerful kid, but also very polite if it come to older people. He liked to dance everywhere he go since 7 and it sometimes made his mom embarassed but also proud. She never forbad Hyukjae to dance so when he was 14, his mom take him to a dance course although he didn’t ask for it. There, he met this adorable boy named Lee Donghae. The name felt funny in his mouth so he often said it to the other. They became good friends soon because everyday Hyukjae will make fun of him and he chase Hyukjae until they reached Hyukjae’s house.
Eventhough their house wasn’t close from each other, they always picked up each other to go to the course in the evening after school. Their school didn’t close either, so they only had course time to be together. Hyukjae and Donghae confessed to each other that they never had a friend who had the same interest and could understand them. So they made a promise to go to the same college.
Hyuk… today you go to campus by yourself, okay ? I got a thing to do first..
One day, Hyukjae got those text messages in an early morning before he went to shower. It’s strange to know that Donghae had something important beside him but he shrugged it off right then. He got his breakfast then walked alone to the college. He arrived at his class first, it was weird since the class would start in ten minutes. When he got boring with this quiet class, he heard a loud commotion come from the school backyard. Hyukjae went to the window far from the door and looked down – his class in 4th story – and his eyes widened.
There, in the middle of the yard, a big banner made from pieces with each piece held by one person and it made a love sign. Then the person tiped it over to the other side and it made two words, Hyuk – Hae. Hyukjae gasped in surprise. As he still shocked from it, he got a text message from Donghae again.
Be my boyfriend… go to a date with me… I Love You.
They soon became lovers. More or less there’s a change between them. One of them was which Donghae always kissed his lips before Hyukjae went inside his house after a long walk just because they wanted to spend more time together. Sometimes Donghae would slide his hand onto Hyukjae’s waist on the street beside just hold hands just so everyone would know that they are lovers now, not just bestfriends.
A year later Donghae got his own apartment. He once told Hyukjae to move in with him, but Hyukjae didn’t ready yet, but he came to his apartment almost everyday. He actually didn’t put a quite attention to how it would become. He, at first didn’t know that Donghae’s love was really pure for him, but when he knew it made him go crazy for this one man, only for him. After that, never Hyukjae left his side. Always on his sight 24/7.
Donghae worked a part-time job in one of the famous coffee shop on their town, not because he needed the money since he was rich, but he always liked coffee especially the smell of it. He would take more time to smell the scent of one cup of hot coffee before taking a sip of it. In comparison, Hyukjae loved ice cream, especially with strawberry for the topping. It wasn’t like he didn’t like to drink coffee, but he never been that addicted like Donghae. Once he got jealous for that stupid coffee, because Donghae rather went for a cup of coffee after he woke up, not to him.
It’s ridiculous though, how he managed to get used to Donghae being addicted to coffee, and then he slowly loved it when after Donghae drank a cup of hot coffee and kissed him, it had a different warm to his lips and mouth, it made him addicted too. Not to the coffee but to Donghae’s kiss.
It maybe because Eunhyuk can’t have those kisses again, everyday he will drink coffee. It has been two years since coffee became his dailly routine. From the moment he starts his day until the time he has to close his eyes – as if he can – yes, Eunhyuk never had a night worth of sleep since 3 years ago.
May 15, New York
“You’re late!” Bryan stated the obvious, “again!” he added, then sighed, “if you don’t want this job anymore, then tell me!” he said again as he massaged his own nape.
Eunhyuk gasped when he heard that, “how?—sir?!” he was in a panic state. Bryan never said it to him eventhough he always late, just a small scolding and then he would let Eunhyuk work again immediately.
Bryan huffed, “I don’t know what got into you, and I thought I could accustomed to it, but then again you prove that I’m wrong, you never change!” he kept his voice still down, but Eunhyuk knew that bryan was dead serious with this. He had been working for him for almost 3 years now.
“Bryan, s-sir, give me a second chance, please!!” Eunhyuk pleaded, he really didn’t know what would he do if he lost his only job, his only source of life in this foreign country.
“I don’t know Hyuk! But I’ll think of it... after you change yourself!” Bryan smiled was short after giving Eunhyuk a side glance, “I’m sorry, Eunhyuk... but I don’t think I can accept you if you still like this, as much as I like it when you around and of course helped, I have to be consistent with my job and dicipline with my time if I want to be a profesional!”
Eunhyuk bowed his head down, this was his consequent, he knew it would happen sooner or later, but still he could never get out of his habit eventhough the consequent could risk his life. “I’m sorry, sir.” Eunhyuk bowed to his boss. He knew that sorry would get him nowhere, Bryan looked really firm with his decision and Eunhyuk knew he was the one who dissapointing him. Bryan took him when he had no one to run to, to continue his life, he even taught him to do something that would help him, and to know that he was dissapointed because of Eunhyuk’s stupid habit, he really ashamed of what he had done.
“You can comeback anytime, but make sure that you have really made up your mind, I know something is bothering you all this time.” Bryan explained, even after what Eunhyuk did to him, Bryan always understood his condition.
“Thank you, Bryan, for everything, if it wasn’t you then I don’t know how to continue my life. I’m sorry!” Eunhyuk was in the verge of tears now, but he held it in.
Bryan nodded at Eunhyuk, “it’s hard for me also, but I’ve been thinking over it, that what you need to continue with your life wasn’t a job, but something else.” He said sincerely.
Eunhyuk tried to disgest what Bryan had said and realization hit him. It’s happening again, wasn’t it? People always easily saw through him like an open book, was he too obvious with his feelings, could he just once keep his sentiment inside and covered it with a closed cage so no one couldn’t notice it.
“I know...” Eunhyuk managed to say, suddenly the desire to be alone again barged into his soul, to be away from people “...I think I’ll get going now, if you excuse me!” and he left, but before he could turned the doorknow, he heard Bryan spoke.
“Just don’t forget you can comeback some other time!”
Eunhyuk then left with burden on his two shoulder, he thought of where to go this time, of where he would hang his life now, he surely wouldn’t back to his parents again eventhough he was sure that his parents wouldn’t neglect him, but he had chosen to leave back then and promise to live alone without worrying them. He sighed loudly, luckily there was no one on the elevator that would take him to the ground floor, and slided down the wall. He couldn’t take this anymore, he needed to be alone, with no one else to interfere with his life, without knowing that everyone in this world knew what on his heart. He wished that he just drowned in the sea or swallowed by the ground right here right now. He didn’t want to be ‘seen’ anymore.
Eunhyuk was in the middle of thinking how to hide himself when the elevator door opened and someone walked in without Eunhyuk noticing it and kept sitting on the elevator floor. “Eunhyuk?” the girl’s voice suddenly filled the silent air of Eunhyuk. He looked up just to see Hyoyeon smiled widely at him, “what are you doing, sitting down inside the elevator? And don’t you have a photo session with Bryan today?”
Eunhyuk stood up and fixed his mailbag on his shoulder, “Hyo, that—I get fired, just now,” he said and then smiled a sad smile.
“What?!!!” Hyoyeon screamed, shocked all written on her face.
“Yeah, I always late and I think I deserve that. It’s just about time..” Eunhyuk sighed and then chuckled to himself of how ironic his life was.
Hyoyeon just kept silent, didn’t know what to say anymore, if Bryan had made a decision, he would make sure that he did that. The problem was, how could he fire Eunhyuk who’d been with him since he treaded on photography world. The biggest thing of it all, Hyoyeon would never meet Eunhyuk again since she didn’t know anything about him except what he did in the office.
“Oh.. we’re here!” Eunhyuk said as the elevator dinged at the ground floor, “I’ll get going then, thank you, Hyo!” he smiled at her still sad expression.
“Can I ride you home?” Hyoyeon suddenly ask.
Eunhyuk frowned, “don’t you have work today? Beside I think I won’t be home yet now.” He could see Hyoyeon’s pout slightly, but ignored it, “bye, Hyo!” he turned from her.
Eunhyuk turned back again to face Hyoyeon, “can I... umm, can we... meet again?” Eunhyuk tilted his head in confusion, why his co-worker acted like this, he never saw Hyoyeon in a sad condition before, she always had a bright and warm smile for everyone. Was it because he meant a lot to her? He thought he wasn’t important for anyone. “I mean... I didn’t have your number and I... didn’t know your house too, so... I thought it would be hard to...” she trailed off and smiled awkwardly.
Eunhyuk silent for a moment, but said “right, sorry for that...” he come closer to Hyoyeon and took out his cellphone, gave her his number and his address. “that’s it, Hyo! Of course we’ll meet again, I have to go now!” and he left before Hyoyeon could speak again.
He wandered on New York’s street, with no particular destination. He planned to just being alone today in a place where many people wouldn’t come and stay there until night. So, maybe Kyuhyun’s shop’s rooftop would be a nice place at this moment, and also tell the couple that their friend now was jobless.
May 16, Seoul
“Yoona, where is my coffee?” Donghae asked as he stil fixed his tie on the kitchen door, looking at his wife’s frame from behind and then returned to fix the tie again.
Yoona turned to his husband and smiled her most beautiful smile, but it vanished again as he saw Donghae didn’t even looking at her and just busy with his red tie, “it’s on the dining table, Hae!”
He walked to the said table and drank his black and bitter coffee to keep him awake when suddenly Yoona grabbed his hand that had been holding his unfinished stupid tie and fix it for him, “you’ve been sleep late lately, don’t you?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, I was working.” Donghae simply answered. It was the truth but also not actually true. The truth was he wasn’t sleeping at all – at night – this past 3 days. He’s working, right, but work wouldn’t take much of his time. Something haunted him, made him couldn’t even close his eyes, because it would come when it was dark around him, eventhough it was light that come, it was still miserable.
“Don’t overwork yourself, it’s not healthy.” Yoona said as she rub her palm on Donghae’s chest.
Donghae finished his coffee quickly, because first it’s been 7.10 in the morning and second he wasn’t comfortable with Yoona’s hand on his body, “I have to go..” he said before kissing her forehead and leave, “bye.”
After Donghae settled himself on his car, he sighed and glanced over their house. He knew that Yoona knew what he felt, they’d been living together for almost 3 years now as a spouse and they’d revealed what on each other’s mind from the start, that they didn’t love each other. It had been fine for the first year, they could understand each other and tried to keep their own side from the other. But then the demand kept compulsing from here and there and although Donghae want to keep it like the way it used to be, Yoona couldn’t do that anymore. She tried to enter Donghae’s side until Donghae couldn’t help but let her be, for the sake of his and her family. It didn’t run smoothly, instead Donghae made more barrier on his side without even he realize it. The thing was he felt guilty toward her.
In the office, Donghae always been busy with his work for the company. He was the heir to this company so that’s why he’d been forced to listen to what the elder said with no objection. He had to take care of this company to continue what his father had built. At 12.30 pm, just as Donghae finished his lunch, the phone on his office rang and he press the button so his secretary could speak, “sir, there’s a Kim Kangin on the phone.” She said. Donghae’s eyes widened from what he heard, did he hear right? Is this that Kangin she’s talking about?
“Put him on the line!” he ordered.
“Donghae?” the Kangin spoke.
“Hyung?!! Is this really you?” Donghae asked with enthusiasm, he’d been waiting for this call for months.
“Ya!! Who else, idiot!!” another voice spoke, this was more gentle eventhough the tone was higher.
“Teuki-hyung!!” Donghae laughed as he heard the voice he’d been missing, “how are you? And when are you coming home? Since Kangin-hyung back from the army, you’ve been nowhere to find.”
Leeteuk chuckled hearing his little cousin whining, “we’re fine, Hae! We’re still in Hawaii now and tonight we’ll be off from here.”
“You’ll be home again, yay!!” Donghae cheered happily like a little kid, didn’t remember that he’s now a big man in suit and a director for one of the biggest company in Korea, sitting on a high comfortable seat inside a sky-high tower.
“No Hae, we’re not coming back home yet, there’s place we wanted to come to.” Leeteuk said and then silent for a moment, “Hae, we found him,” he added, and Donghae couldn’t breathe.
After a long minute Donghae kept silent, made his two hyungs worried to dead, Leeteuk called him, “Donghae are you still there?”
Donghae’s eyes that widened in shock just now closed tight and he sent a silent prayer to God for granted his wish, “wh-where is he?” Donghae managed to say.
“We’re not too sure of where the exact he is, but we know that he’s in New York now,” Leeteuk said, “Hae, we have an agreement, don’t we?” he added with a warning mixed with anxiousness in his tone.
Donghae kept silent again and lowered his head and inhaled deeply, restrained a threatening tears from his eyes, despite how painful his heart at the moment to hear that thing again, to fall down, “yeah, I know hyung.”
“Eventhough I know that it won’t change everything between you and him, but... you’re trying aren’t you?”
Donghae turned his chair in the direction of a big window behind him and gazed through it into the space outside, Seoul city in the afternoon, but his mind just focused to the horizon on far away, hoping that he could see what behind it. He knew for sure that if he could, he would find him there. However, it just proved him that he wasn’t trying, he tried but he just couldn’t anymore, he’d given up on trying to forget the man he loved most, “I tried, hyung,” Donghae answered honestly. Didn’t care if he broke the agreement, he never thought that it would ever be influential for him, “but I just... can’t anymore.”
Leeteuk sighed loudly, “as expected!” but then Donghae could feel the man on the other line smiling, “think I couldn’t do anything then, but just remember, don’t do stupid thing on everyone, didn’t want someone to get hurt!”
Donghae smiled a sorrowful smile, “I get it, hyung! Thank you for... everything,” Donghae said, holding back the tears. For he knew that even if he didn’t do anything stupid and everything went the way it was, someone would certain be hurt, and that was him, but it’s okay, it always be alright, as long as nobody’s hurt because of him.
After he hung up with Eeteuk-hyung, who happened to be his dearest oldest cousin, his only relative that supported him with everything he did because Eeteuk was the one who understand Donghae the most. Especially when Donghae’s parents forced him to marry, at that time it was the only time that Eeteuk held a brief for Donghae in front of his parents, saying that Donghae didnt need to marry anyone else but the person he loved, Donghae couldn’t get his work done. Knowing that his love still could be reach, he couldn’t help but think of how he would do to meet him. It would be hard, he knew, but sooner or later he would surely come for him.
They had been apart for more than 3 years. Hyukjae had told Donghae that he was going, but never told him where he would go. He always believed that Hyukjae went to only-God-knows-where to calm himself down and tried to accept what had become Donghae’s condition was back then. They never broke up, since Donghae told Hyukjae that they could still be together despite what his status was, they could still play hide and seek, but eventhough Hyukjae didn’t object to it, there was never an answer coming from him. So Hyukjae just went with promise to be back, but until now, there were even no calls to report how he’s doing and especially where was he.
“Promise me that you would never leave me!” Hyukjae demanded one night before Donghae had to tell him about his marriage. Donghae stunned, how could he asked that when Donghae would exactly betray it if he made the promise.
“Hyuk... I have something to tell you,”Donghae managed to say, his heart beating so fast with anxiety of what would Hyukjae react to the news, “I’m getting married,” he said finally.
Hyukjae just stared at Donghae with eyes widened and blinked faster then bursted out laughing, “that’s a lame joke, Hae!”
Donghae sighed and there was a well of tears in his eyes, “Hyuk, I’m serious.”
“No, you don’t!!” Hyukjae denied again, he, of course, would never believe in such statement, Donghae had made a promise to marry him someday, and that he only loved him, and he wanted to believe in it forever.
“I am, Hyuk! It’s my father... he forced me to get married for the sake of the company,” Donghae explained to his lover who kept shaking his head, eyes didn’t want to meet the other’s. Donghae cupped his face to make him looked into his own tearing eyes, “look Hyuk, I’ll said this and you better believed in me,” Eunhyuk now couldn’t stop the tears to fall from his eyes again, and after a nod, Donghae spoke again, “I’m getting married won’t effect to what we are, I love you and always love you and nothing in this world can change that.”
“No!! How can you say that it won’t change anything! It means that you’re not mine anymore! Donghae, you’re MINE!” Hyukjae cried harder, he was now clutching tightly at Donghae’s shirt and then hitting his chest quiet hard.
“I’m yours, Hyukjae, always yours, you hear me!” Donghae pulled him into an embrace to soothe him, but Hyukjae couldn’t staying still, he kept struggling on Donghae’s hold, so Donghae had to hold him tighter. When Hyukjae seemed calm enough, Donghae lift him bridal style to bring him to bed and Hyukjae instinctively circled his arms on Donghae’s neck until they reach their bedroom and both of them laying in each others arm for the rest of the night.
May 16, New York
“Yes, Min... I’ll get enough sleep [...] I’ll get home soon, I just come by a coffee shop [...] I promise to just drink one cup [...] okay, bye [...] I love you too!” Eunhyuk sighed after he hung up on Sungmin, the pink-haired boy sometimes could be strict and bother him too much. It made Eunhyuk wanted to be alone more, but he knew Sungmin did that because he care.
It was still 07.30 in the evening and the coffee shop was not full of people at this kind of hour. So after he ordered his coffee, Eunhyuk went to find a seat and surprise to see someone wave his hand towards him, he glanced over his shoulder in case the person calling someone else behind him, but there’s no one there. Eunhyuk waved back before walking to the man in the same spot where they meet for the first time.
“Hello! You’re here early...” Daniel said.
Eunhyuk smiled before taking a seat opposite the older man, “what? You always come here at this time?” he asked.
Daniel smiled back and Eunhyuk could see the resemblance of him on the smoky eyes man, “I’m off my work at six and often hang in here until the shop close if I have nowhere to go... what about you, I never see you in this kind of time?”
Being asked made Eunhyuk lowered his head but a sad smile formed in his lips nonetheless, “I’m fired, this morning to be exact...” he answered and Daniel’s face showed his sorry but Eunhyuk shook his head, “but I’m fine, really... I just feel a slight regret because this all is my fault.”
“Yeah, I late for work almost everyday, so it’s just about time, right?” Eunhyuk chuckled wholeheartedly. He slowly accepted to himself that he wasn’t perfect, never always be perfect for everything, but at least he must told himself that he was perfect for himself, better off alone.
“So, what will yo do after this?” Daniel asked again.
Eunhyuk shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know, maybe lazying around until I got myself another job, I really don’t have anything to do if I don’t have any job.”
“...or maybe you could join me sometimes,” Daniel looked into Eunhyuk’s eyes with interest.
“What do you do, by the way?” Eunhyuk asked Daniel who still looking at him with hope.
“I have this community called Epik High, and we do rap and dance. Are you interested in thing like this?” Daniel explained and Eunhyuk’s eyes twinkling when he heard dance.
“Dance? I love dance!” Eunhyuk yelped with enthusiasm, it’s been a long time since he heard the word dance and dance itself, eventhough dance also the one who brought the bad memory but he couldn’t deny that he really missed to be able to dance again, “you also dance, Daniel?” Eunhyuk even asked Daniel with wider smile.
However, Daniel seemed so lost in his own world in looking to Eunhyuk’s face so Eunhyuk had to waved his hand in front of Daniel’s face, and that’s when Daniel woke up from his reverie, “oh, no... I don’t dance, I’m the one who rap,” Daniel answered, still couldn’t tear his gaze from Eunhyuk’s face, made the younger blushed.
“W-what are you staring at?” Eunhyuk managed to say, eventhough he didn’t know wether it’s true that Daniel stare at him or not. He would be very embarassed if Daniel sais he didn’t.
“You’re... you’re beautiful when you smile like this.”
Eunhyuk’s cheeks felt hot from the compliment, did he heard right that Daniel just said that he’s beautiful? He couldn’t help to bite his lips to prevent a silly smile to form on his lips. What was he thinking? He look like a shy teenage boy just now in front of an older man that he barely know for two days, but he couldn’t deny that Daniel’s word could ignite something in him.
“So...” Daniel said and Eunhyuk had the urge to look up just to see that Daniel STILL didn’t turn away from his face, “meet me at 2 pm, tomorrow?”
Eunhyuk didn’t know why it sounded like Daniel asked him to go on a date, but he shook that thought off, it was silly of him he knows, but he couldn’t help the thumping of his heart anymore. Just because of one word, what did Daniel could do? “okay,” was the simple answer Eunhyuk could give.
That night, they continued to talk until 9 pm about what life did Daniel living in and promised that tomorrow would be Eunhyuk’s turn to talk about his. Daniel was never had a permanent job, he always work for 3 months on part-time job and then search for another and his days always spent by writing for himself or Epik High, he said he also write story, hoping the manuscript could be published. Daniel also lived by himself on a ‘wrecked-apartment’ by himself and told Eunhyuk that he wouldn’t be able to walk inside the so-called-home.
Daniel sent him to his apartment, actually this is the first time a ‘friend’ knew where he lived. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to make friend with anyone or even hide himself from the civilization, but they never ask. Only Sungmin and Kyuhyun knew exactly what was inside.
Eunhyuk drank one cup of coffee again even if he had promised Sungmin to just drank one and it included one cup he bought at the coffee shop. Sungmin wouldn’t know the truth, but a side of him would feel guilty if he betrayed his bestfriend. However, tonight it was kind of enough, the urge to sleep slowly come to him and he didn’t deny it anymore. He was just thinking about how tomorrow would be with Daniel and his heart seemed cannot rest peacefuly. He’s missing his old life, when he could dance freely with his free heart, nothing could ever replace the bliss of dance for Lee Hyukjae, but since he’s Eunhyuk now, could he ever reach those blisses again? Since he became Eunhyuk, nothing could reach his heart anymore, until tonight. It felt weird to be able to feel that again.
Eunhyuk slept on his bed that night, still dreaming about him, dancing like there’s no tomorrow until he left dancing alone, but at least there’s no dried tears on Eunhyuk’s cheeks the next morning. Because his heart didn’t allow him to do that.
“Hyukjae… finish your coffee before it gets cold!”
“No… you finish it!”
“If you don’t want this, why make coffee in the first place?”
“I just want to try it, because you look like a really happy person when you drink it!”
“Yes… and I’m jealous because of that! Silly, why can I be jealous to such a thing that doesn’t even taste good in my mouth.”
“Jealous? You’re jealous just because a cup of coffee? Hyukjae, you’re so cute… of course I’m like a happy person when I drink coffee because I drink it in front of you, I drink something I really like in front of the person I love… I’d never been happy in my life like this. By the way… it’s already past midnight, Happy Birthday My Love!!”
Third Cup:A Drawer of Memory