Real Bad Person
Words Count: 1,311
What I'm Listening To: Jason Mraz - Butterfly
When the angel fallen from heaven to some bad persons.
I don’t even thinking about it, I don’t think I could stay here any longer, this was my dream, but now it seems fade away. I don’t know how can I be this concern to my family. I was a bad person after all. My mom always let me got whatever I want, be the youngest is like heaven. At that time I didn’t think I would turn to be a bad guy. The only I thought was, I’m like a king, being spoiled by my parents.
It’s my fault then. The problem comes to my family like chains, and I can’t even try to fix it for my parents. My parents once sent me to France, be in fact to keep me at a distance. From what ? I wasn’t sure father gave me the right explanation. Maybe because I didn’t want to leave, I turned to be a bad guy when I back. I didn’t want to leave mom or her coddles, I wasn’t sure. At that time, I thought my parents didn’t want me anymore. Then I came back with bad person impression in me all the way.
My childhood friend Kangin, who’s very much like a bullier guy is my best friend. He knows what trough me all this time. We have the same dreams to become a chef, and then we enter the same university. I made decision to enter this majors without discuss it with my parents, but they seemed not very interested either with my choice. I think they never want me have our companies, there is Heejin afterall.
Then, I heard my parents talk about problems at companies, all the companies that we had, it was because the manager, PR, and other nuclear staff resigned one by one, and it affect the stock and hundreds employees will suffer because of this. Heejin told me that now we only have family and relative to help us with the company, but I know it didn’t help that much. Then another problem came, when another company made a deal with large overseas company my father had been relying on. Fortunately, we still have another company or else, we will send into bankruptcy.
With that, I asked for an apology from my parents, I didn’t understand them enough, but when I told them I want to move from my major then, they didn’t let me to. I asked why ? but I didn’t get the answer. Even Heejin didn’t let me to move, I tried to persuade her that I could help her, but she only said “you’re still young, still need protection, not to protect anyone else..” that made me realize, that was the disadvantage of being the youngest one in the family.
I’m not a kid anymore. I can’t stand watching my family suffer.
“Heechul-hyung.. why are you so sad..? Kangin’s not coming..?” this is my friend (a dongsaeng actually) from highschool with Kangin.
“No, he’s got stuck with paper tonight, I think..!” I reply matter of factly, “hey, Shiwon-ah, give me some drink, hurry up..!” then he immediately run to the bartender and order something for me as I take a sit with Yesung and Kibum.
“What’s up..!” greet Yesung, I only nod with less energy, “hey, what date is now ? I don’t think today is 25 or something..!” then he laughs along Kibum. I know they just try to comfort me, so I don’t take it too serious, eventhough if it’s not them I exactly won’t have the same reaction.
“His PMS is not today, isn’t it?” adds Kibum.
I only smile a bit, I don’t know what’s wrong with me either. That night, I drink not as much as usual, I just have feeling that I must stay sober this time. I just have a little talk with them and just pay much attention to the glass in front of me not bothered by the music playing loudly in this club. Until I feel something heavy at my shoulder, it’s Shiwon, drunk Shiwon.
“Yah, Shiwon-ah, you drunk again?” I try to shrug my shoulder to wake him up.
“Heechul, we think we should go now.” Yesung and Kibum say, before they burst towards the exit.
“Hey, you leave me with this horse again? What the fuck!”
“Hyung, I love you!” Shiwon says between his hiccups.
I only sigh to that, he says this to me for many times, I have to get used to this soon, “I know, but I can’t love you back!”
“Why not, hyung?” he hugs me tighter now until I can’t breath easily, “take me home, hyung!”
This is such my habit now, go to the club, drink, have drunk Shiwon in my shoulder, take him home, and make out with him at his house. Because I don’t think I can break Shiwon’s heart, though I don’t love him at all. Take this as pay back, he gives his love to me then I give him my body but not my heart. I can’t love him, I can’t love everyone, that’s the reason.
Before 2AM in the morning, I come out of Shiwon’s house to get back home, no, to my tree-house first. There, I can chill out a little and let winds take my problems away. I see something like feather scattered about the ladder and the underside of the tree. I step on the ladder to see what’s on my tree-house. That’s the time when I feel fear all over my body, there, on the little space of my tree-house’s terrace, lay a man with wounds all over his body and wings on his back. I can’t help my self from shivering anymore, it’s the first time my body shiver like this.
God, what’s that?! Without I realize it, I just staring at the unmoved and naked body in front of me for hours, I don’t dare to touch it or carry it to more safety place, but I don’t even dare to move from my place, I just stare. It can’t be angel, as what I have thought this morning. I must be crazy. God must be crazy. I’m serious with that angel thing indeed, but I didn’t thought it will be turn out like this. An angel really comes to me? This is irrassional, illogical.
It voiced at last, but it only gives another shiver to me. “help.”
Help? Where is this man come from? With my remnant valor, I approach the winged-man in front of me, tiped him over so he is on his back and suddenly that wings sucked up to his back. I startle, jump backward again, shit! What the hell is this?
He whimpers again and I decide to carry him to my bedroom before the sun shine and some servants see this weird creature. I don’t care who is he, but I can’t stand to look at singes that fill the man’s body, so I clean that off. After that, I stare him again as I sit on the armchair in front of the bed. This man, perhaps an angel, comes to me, why does he come to me? Why me? Did God listen to my words and sent this angel to me for – as I pray – protect my family? If so, then, thank’s God, I thought You have forgotten me, I thought I’m not good enough to receive Your goodness, I’m a real bad person, so I don’t deserve to have a beneficence like this. Oh my God, why are You so kind to me, that I can shed tears right now.